FASTEN YOUR SWEET BELT:
10 Things You Need To Know About Older Child Adoption
This is my first book, which I co-wrote with my adoptive mother, Jodi Jackson Tucker.
Our book tells the story of my adoption from Uganda at the age of 13. It was published in 2011.
To order the book, visit
www.fastenyoursweetbelt.com
Here is an excerpt from my portion:
This is to You, My Fellow Adopted Brothers and Sisters
Adoption is when you accept as your legal guardians or when you join a new family and you are part of the family. Some of us were adopted when we were little or babies, and also some of us were adopted in our teen years.
Those who were adopted when they were babies sometimes don’t have
problems. But if you were older you might have problems because it takes a while to know and understand each other. But if you do have some problems, I am sure you can talk to your parents about those problems.
For me at first, I had problems with my Mum and Dad.
I used to get in trouble at least three days in a week. I
talked to my Mom about my background and how I was treated before I came here and what I expected from her. My Mom understood my problems. She tried to get my wounds in my heart healed. She told me to tell her all about my hurt so that I can’t keep that burden in my
heart.
Some of my problems were private.
I couldn’t tell them to either my Mom or Dad.
My Mom decided that I should go see a counselor.
So now I go see a counselor every two weeks or three weeks.
Some times the counselor talks to me about stuff that I and my family
should change around. And then things changed. I no longer get in
trouble as I used to.
So, what I want you to know is sometimes things don’t happen the way you want them to. Some of us also when we come here we change or act differently. I think you should act well and think
about where you are from and where you are going.
Also, try to respect your new parents, friends and other people. If you won’t be you, who will?
Don’t change yourself.
Sometimes you see people dressing up nicely and you try to be them. It won’t help. Being yourself gets easier and easier. Sometimes at school you join some groups and make a good friend whom you know will help you.
Don’t join bad peer groups. Watch out where you are going at
school, although some things are new to you. Try your best and you will achieve your goals. Try to surprise your parents by doing your best. I know some kids are smarter than you but you can do it if you decide it in your mind. What I know is that everybody can be smart. You just need to concentrate, look around. There are many things you can do to be smart like other people.
Be true to yourself and the future will show itself.
You are what you are and that’s that. Don’t fear failure.
Assume success. Don’t rush at things. Relish them.
Also, consider some of my proverbs as your life goes
by:
You have what it takes
Be a work in progress and keep progressing
Time is on your side
Having fun counts
Work and play both.
Do what is important to do and important to you.
Start with what matters most.
Your brain and your gut make a great team.
Rise to the challenge.
Get to know your inner hero.
Search for your values.
It feels good to do good.
Be unstoppable.
There are no easy answers but keep asking questions.
Please take care of yourself.
And don’t forget to trust God for whatever you are doing.
Our book tells the story of my adoption from Uganda at the age of 13. It was published in 2011.
To order the book, visit
www.fastenyoursweetbelt.com
Here is an excerpt from my portion:
This is to You, My Fellow Adopted Brothers and Sisters
Adoption is when you accept as your legal guardians or when you join a new family and you are part of the family. Some of us were adopted when we were little or babies, and also some of us were adopted in our teen years.
Those who were adopted when they were babies sometimes don’t have
problems. But if you were older you might have problems because it takes a while to know and understand each other. But if you do have some problems, I am sure you can talk to your parents about those problems.
For me at first, I had problems with my Mum and Dad.
I used to get in trouble at least three days in a week. I
talked to my Mom about my background and how I was treated before I came here and what I expected from her. My Mom understood my problems. She tried to get my wounds in my heart healed. She told me to tell her all about my hurt so that I can’t keep that burden in my
heart.
Some of my problems were private.
I couldn’t tell them to either my Mom or Dad.
My Mom decided that I should go see a counselor.
So now I go see a counselor every two weeks or three weeks.
Some times the counselor talks to me about stuff that I and my family
should change around. And then things changed. I no longer get in
trouble as I used to.
So, what I want you to know is sometimes things don’t happen the way you want them to. Some of us also when we come here we change or act differently. I think you should act well and think
about where you are from and where you are going.
Also, try to respect your new parents, friends and other people. If you won’t be you, who will?
Don’t change yourself.
Sometimes you see people dressing up nicely and you try to be them. It won’t help. Being yourself gets easier and easier. Sometimes at school you join some groups and make a good friend whom you know will help you.
Don’t join bad peer groups. Watch out where you are going at
school, although some things are new to you. Try your best and you will achieve your goals. Try to surprise your parents by doing your best. I know some kids are smarter than you but you can do it if you decide it in your mind. What I know is that everybody can be smart. You just need to concentrate, look around. There are many things you can do to be smart like other people.
Be true to yourself and the future will show itself.
You are what you are and that’s that. Don’t fear failure.
Assume success. Don’t rush at things. Relish them.
Also, consider some of my proverbs as your life goes
by:
You have what it takes
Be a work in progress and keep progressing
Time is on your side
Having fun counts
Work and play both.
Do what is important to do and important to you.
Start with what matters most.
Your brain and your gut make a great team.
Rise to the challenge.
Get to know your inner hero.
Search for your values.
It feels good to do good.
Be unstoppable.
There are no easy answers but keep asking questions.
Please take care of yourself.
And don’t forget to trust God for whatever you are doing.